Excellent post. I too am pissed at the taking away of the 3.5mm audio jack on smartphones. It's a way for the companies to force us to buy new products, as opposed to allowing us to use our existing products. It's a clever way for those companies to make more money off us.
It's not just you. Everyone living right now has to make the decision of whether they will be “users” or “used”.
One way to think about about it, that could help avoid the feeling of helplessness with tech, is to think of them as tools. Social media is a tool. Your phone is a tool. Configure them and use them with the mindset that they are tools. This will get yourself in control of them as opposed to them controlling you.